Planned Life ........

I know life does not go as we Plan it. Life has its own plans which leads us to that path or may be we by not understanding what life has planned for us , we take another path or a U turn which takes towards a path which neither we nor life had planned but i guess it is God's planning as he is the one who knows what is going to happen n how n which way......... God has the answers to all the questions.....Is it actually true ???? So why does he not answer the questions arised .......Why does he take so much time to answer ???? How do we find the answers to our questions?????

Fear !!!!!!!!!!!

I fear not what i see ,
I fear what i cannot see ,
I fear not about things that are near me,
but i fear about things that are not near me,
I fear not people around me ,
I fear people who are not around me and whom i yet have to meet,
I fear not the discovered matter,
I fear matter which is yet to be discovered,
I fear not about the existing relations ,
I fear about the relations which will come into existence in future,
I fear not the world we live in and which exists,
I fear the world which we don't live in and have not yet seen or discovered.

Fear - which is within and outside but some are self created and some are just there to make life livable but also scary sometimes.

Life A ????????????

I sometimes think that my life like a question mark coz i have no clue as to what to do in life. People call me including myself confused. How am i supposed to clear my confusion. I also have a confidence problem (according to me very very low confidence almost like nil confidence now
:( ) which scares me n makes me tense. I am always worried & tensed about the smallest thing. I am more worried as to what willy future be & what am i going to do in life. And have other tensions i.e. house from where i dont wanna go & now added to my list of tensions is marriage. Marriage is the word which freaks me out be it any. Why cant i live in peace & may be a little happy staying single. May be if i feel after some years might decide to get married (which for now is a BIG NO ). I have no job in the field i have studied in & dont know where will life take me as LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE. Dont know what bad or good is in store for me. I am tensed & scared .

JOB???????

Job .......when i did not have i was waiting for one n now when i have one .....i don't know how to handle. I mean the job is fine but the people do not want to do their work instead give the small ones to me , a work as smaal as calling up or picking a phone. Well my profile does not have all this then why should i do , i am not their slave but employee. And when i say no then see the face of the people full of anger. And i cant handle their work when i have my own to do. These people know how to suppress n get their work done from others. They exploited n got their work done for free from 2 of my friends n then said BYE BYE. How smart these production houses are when they have to get the work done for free. And if you keep doing what they say you will be dominated n suppressed n will not grow as an individual which i do not want to . Coz in school n college i have done work for others without saying anything n being suppressed. Now i don't care whther my boss tells me to leave but i doubt at the moment she will (but can't say) coz she needs people. But coz of the attitude of people there I don't want to work their myself despite it being my 1st job. The people's behaviour n attitude towards me is upseting me n making me cry dus to which my head pains, which i hate n want to just bang their heads ....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh n i keep thinking that when he complains to my boss she will tell me to leave.In a way i don't care but as its my 1st job , i thought may be a few months n then i will leave. I don't know what to do. Why do i get such sick, lowlife people with too much attitude in my life. And this is not ATTITUDE but i am trying to be STRONG n save my SELF RESPECT n try to SPEAK UP n STAND UP for myself AGAINST the EXPLOITATION. I HOPE i can do it.

Wait & Patience !!!!!!!!!!

The word ' WAIT & PATIENCE ' are just mere words but are big for people who have to keep PATIENCE & have to WAIT for long to get what they want but a small word for those who immediately get things i.e. things they get easily without struggling or just asking & u get them. But I have been WAITING & keeping PATIENCE for a job but still am struggling to get a good one. I am just giving interviews & don't know how many i have given ( may be 20 or something). Well what to do , i don't know getting irritated but then i am helping my sister in the meanwhile but still want a good decent job. Don't know how many more interviews are lined up & how much more i will have to WAIT & have to keep PATIENCE. I am happy for my friends who got jobs but still I am waiting to get one myself. :( :(( :-< Hope i get one soon.

Sad :(

I am very very sad n upset coz i will have 2 shift which i don't want to. Why are people telling to grow up & not be sad......why can't i be sad or upset, when i have staying there since my birth till now. Obviously i will be attached to my house , so will be sad for leaving it. People are saying that you have to move on in life but i don't want to leave from here. It hurting which makes me remind that i won't be able to come here or see my house again & makes me cry. Now how do i stop myself from being sad or upset. I have not told anyone at home coz i don't want them 2 be tensed or upset. I don't know what to do. i have taken some pics of my house yesterday i.e. 11th may 2010 Tuesday (just to remember). I wish there could be some kind of magic which would let us stay here forever & no further problems of leaving. :( :(( :( :(( Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i don't wanna go.

What do i do??????

I dont know what to do????????? How do i tell people my problems coz i know what will they say. They will not try to understand what am i going through (i doubt anyone will). Coz again they will tell me what they think but not try to understand what i feel or think. I don't wanna shift from my house. I am more sad & upset coz of this than not getting a job. I cry every time i think of leaving i.e. all day & night but alone as i dont want anyone to see that i am crying & give them tension. My cousin just called up seeing my sad status in FB & asked me what happened but i did not tell coz i know she will say the same thing as she herself has shifted so obviously she will say that you have to move on (i know that but may be don't want 2 do anything as i am so attached to my house :( :(( ) . I don't know what to do. I just hope that some how we dont have to go but some where i am thinking that we will have to go :( :(( whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????????? I am not liking this. I am not liking anything around me even GOD & as usual blaming him for all this tension. But people say that ' whatever happens , happens for good ' but i dont see how leaving house is good (may be atleast for me as i have stayed here for long) but then i dont know what to think & say. Only a MIRACLE can help (but i dont know anything will happen). :( :((